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4th seat, red vs. white, you pick up

 

AQJ7

AK64

A73

AQ

After 3 unsurprising passes, the auction goes:

W
N
E
S
P
P
P
2
3
P
3
P
P
?

 

3 = alerted as either   or both majors

3 = alerted as "If I have diamonds, this is the level he wants to play at"

Partner now bids 4

 

The full deal is:

West
9642
103
Q65
K932
North
AQJ7
AK64
A73
AQ
East
K83
Q72
KJ1042
108
South
105
J985
98
J7654
W
N
E
S
P
P
P
2
3
P
3
P
P
4
?
D

Sitting North, I bid 4NT, down 3.

So, in no particular order:

1.  South felt that in a 2 auction, he was obligated to balance.  Is he correct?  If so, is 4 the right action, or should he double?

2.  Given South's 4, is my 4NT (I figured we were not going to do well in a club contract) the right choice?  

3.  Is there anything we could have done here, or did we just get beat?

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