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All comments by Michael Xu
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Am I missing something with the title? I don't see why this slam is considered “lousy.” It isn't one that I would want to be in, but it isn't terrible.

It requires you to pick up diamonds for zero losers. So it seems that you start at 50%, and then subtract some percentage for KTx onside and then add a little bit for stiff T offside.

I am not a mathematician, but that feels to be a bit above 35%. So I don't think the use of the word “lousy” is justifiable.
Sept. 13
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I played against Kit and Sally, with their teammates being Finn and Daniel Sonner. It was my first match, so it was the 4th round.
Sept. 13
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Hey Debbie,

You are right of course on 1 and 2.

For 3, it feels to me that you are suggesting that there is a hand record available? This event was a Swiss, so I thought it was shuffle and deal.
Sept. 12
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I only wrote my hand down, and deduced partner's. I am not 100% sure what cards EW held, though.
Sept. 11
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Did you notice it was a D21 Finals :)
Sept. 11
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What is up with BW people posting quality content that distracts me from my school work? :)
Sept. 10
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Phil, I have a genuine question for you.


I made my apology on grounds that I should have made my BW comment more clear, as it must have not been clear enough. I was apologizing for causing people to feel insulted, and I had to apologize because it was my fault that I did not make it clear.


This is why I said “sorry for making you feel so angry.” I feel like that accurately represents why I'm apologizing.


I agree with you that usually, saying “I'm sorry you are upset” is patronizing and a way to condescend (I've had people (non bridge players) say that to me as a form of ridicule and they clearly meant it like that from the tone of their voice.)

So what could I say instead to make it clear that my apology was not a passive/aggressive apology? That I had a legit reason to apologize?


EDIT:

Thank you for providing me with that article. It is a good read.
Sept. 8
Michael Xu edited this comment Sept. 8
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Ed Reppert:

You are right, it is absurd. I misunderstood. I thought that Joe was giving a thumbs up to his partner as a defender.


John Larkin:

I think you are right. Thank you for telling me this.
Sept. 8
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>I spent some time with you in Vegas over a postgame pizza snack and you were excellent company.


I do remember that time. I enjoyed your company as well. Was planning on heading back to my hotel but talking with you was much better.
Sept. 8
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>Unfortunately, it's all too easy to post a hasty and ill-considered comment for the world to see. You can't control how everyone will react to it, but it would be a good practice to compose a comment and reread it several times before posting, maybe even seeking a friend's advice if you wonder how a comment might appear.


I do reread my comments. I guess I have to work on being more emphatic and aware of how other people's brain work.
Sept. 8
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Ray,

You are spot-on your analysis.

>The brief following notations “(note, I don't actually think like that.)” and “Ok, if I actually said that, IMO, I deserve a ZT” were easy to overlook after paragraphs of apparently angry criticism and it's quite possible some people were turned off by your long introduction and stopped reading.


It looks like I'm really not in tune with the rest of the world. Stopping to read seems like a grave crime to make. Is it really going to kill you to finish reading and make sure about the commenter's intent? (this is a digression, but I feel like certain individuals really seem inclined to be super cynical of me).


But you are right that it is easy to overlook, even if I personally don't make that mistake.


>“If instead it was artfully crafted, then you were trying to have your cake and eat it too, spewing invective and then passing it off as ”just kidding.“


Not quite. I didn't pass it off as ”just kidding." The example plays a legit role in my rhetoric analysis.



>Satire, irony, sarcasm, and other tones are hard to convey in print without emoticons or other indications the author's tongue is in cheek, which leads to my second point.


Very true, I need to make it more clear.



>I've had a comment flagged off when it partly asked a poster if her article wasn't really intended for the Intermediate Forum. I honestly was trying to be helpful, not sarcastic, but in retrospect I could see how it could be interpreted otherwise in the context of my other statements.


I don't think your example is entirely representative of my situation. There, you didn't explicitly state your intention. For my case, I did. But your example does still show the importance of the lesson of being careful and trying to really make your intention easy to interpret.
Sept. 8
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Also, apologies for writing practically an essay. But I just have so many things to say.
Sept. 8
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Alan, I edited my article to make matters more clear. Please tell me if there still is confusion.



>I'm 100% certain that your comment was 100% out of line - therefore your opps reaction is irrelevant - it's your comment that caused the problem.“


As my edit should clear this up: this article is not talking about the appropriateness of my IRL comment. This is something entirely different.


As you read the rest of this comment, please remove this notion of my IRL comment from your head. Everything I say has nothing to do with it, and instead, is about my BW comment. The certain individuals” that I later refer to are not people who are saying my IRL comment was inappropriate, it's people who are making attacks on me for something else.




>“through most of the earlier thread, you seemed to be defending.”


This is true, but it takes a deeper analysis.

I never was defending my IRL comment. The things that I was defending myself from was Mark's claim that I was laughing at her being offended.


-BTW, that incorrect claim and a few other comments led me to add the disclaimer-



>“Although this thread is ostensibly an apology, it doesn't feel like one to me.”


Well, it isn't the apology that you were probably expecting given what the previous article was about. It is quite understandable that you were confused about what I meant by this article, given my sudden change in the use of the word “comment.” This is why I made the edit.



I can see why it doesn't feel like an apology. But understand that one can be both apologetic and frustrated. In life, multiple things are happening at the same time. There are certain things that I am very frustrated over (and this is being reflected in the tone of my article), but there are also things that I am apologetic for.



>“Michael, I really think that you need to put this to bed.”


(I know you intend well. What I say next, please don't take it personally. I'm very irritated right now.)


So no, I don't really think I need to put this to bed. I feel like I have sufficiently explained everything logically, but I am not being given the same respect by certain individuals.


I feel like sometimes, certain people just don't stop to think about what I say.


They make the claim “A”, I explain why claim “A” is wrong, and then they don't respond to my explanation. They just repeat claim A, and this is making my blood boil. I don't like to handle broken clocks.



The only reason why I should go to bed is to calm my frustration. When I read this over in the morning, I'll probably be surprised at what I said. But I'm not going to delete this. I don't think I've been given enough respect by certain individuals for me to not speak my mind and speak negatively about them. Everybody has a breaking point, and some people have pushed me to mine.



- Of course, it is a risk to say something like that. If I'm wrong, that'll be very foolish on my part to claim somebody is wrong when in reality I'm wrong. But I think the risk is worth taking. Certain individuals have already taken this risk and called me out, and I'm going to either them make them apologize for being wrong about me, or I'll find out I'm wrong and apologize. -


It is soon to reach a point where I will lose my cool and explode if I don't sleep soon. So ciao, good night, buenos noches.
Sept. 8
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I don't want people to think that I am as mean and callous as they must have thought I was when they reported the comment. It makes future interactions awkward as they expect me to be a rude and impolite and, quote, “immature,” person when in reality, I'm not.

Also, I hope to brighten people's day. When they reported it, they must have thought I was insulting them. I hope they understand I was not and that that lifts their mood.
Sept. 8
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Hey Joe:

Are you sure RHO thought that you were gloating?

Personally, IF I was FORCED to make a negative assumption about your action (note, I don't believe your intention is this), I would be more inclined to think that you were cheating. That you were communicating to partner: “We gonna shreck them. Expect big cards from me.”

Of course, this isn't what you were doing, but I think it is a possibility that what made RHO mad is that RHO thought you were cheating, unless he explicitly told you that it was because he thought you were gloating.
Sept. 8
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I should really clarify this:

“In my ”Should This NLM Stay in his Lane“ article, I made a comment”

“A comment” is referring to a BW comment on the article, not the actual comment I made in real life.
Sept. 8
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This comment has been marked as inappropriate by the moderator(s).
Sept. 7
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Michael Kopera:

You viewed her comment the way I did when she first spoke them to me. I would also have bolded those two words.

Of course, I may also be wrong.
Sept. 7
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Dear Mark:

>Michael, I'd be happy to clarify.


I appreciate this.


> because she was offended, she lashed out at you, best she knew how, by trying to diminish you by inflating her ability based on her masterpoint total. That you found this amusing (after you left the table), rather than a wake-up call that you really screwed up and should watch your choice of words in the future is most troubling.


We haven't really moved on.

What is happening is you are trying to find fault in me laughing. You do this because you connect her taking offense with the MP part, and you assume I made the same connection.

But no, again, I found this amusing because of the pure absurdity of the logic behind her MP reference.

And that is that, really. We are talking about me here, and you say one thing, and I'm saying another. You say that I laughed at her taking offense, I'm saying I laughed at her flawed logic.



>You said things like you found her “silly”. Yes, I've seen you say you owed her an apology, but not that she should be blameless in the way she responded to your inappropriate comment. Almost like you feel she owes you an apology as well. I think the apology you feel you owe her is a bit hollow.


This is a new topic than the one regarding the humor behind the MP part.

This topic is going to very difficult to discuss in how convoluted it is. It seems that you are in the same camp with Oren, and right now I'm drafting a response.

If I ever end up finishing it, I'll gladly send it to you if you so wish.



>If I am wrong, I apologize, but your posts up to now don't lead me to believe that you are taking full responsibility and realize indeed how inappropriate your comment was.


I feel like if you are going to say that, you should provide examples of posts that made you feel this way. But to each his own. It's your right to think that way, and I'm not going to bother to change your mind because we will be entering a very subjective debate.



>I certainly wouldn't have been laughing at ANYTHING that happened at the table.


To each his own. I don't care that you don't find the MP comment funny, and you are never going to convince me that I am wrong to find it funny. Flawed logic humors me, and it would be a losing battle for you to tell me “finding flawed logic funny is wrong.”
Sept. 7
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Giles, what do you mean by digging? I searched up definitions on both Google and Urban dictionary, and I did not find anything significant.

And also, whatever you mean by digging, I may be wrong here, but most people won't find you very convincing when you just give a command but give no reasoning.
Sept. 7
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