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What are your leads?

I (attempted) to play in a club game today.  On the first board, I asked opp what are your leads?  The response:  standard leads.  Okay.  The lead was a small , after 3 rounds of s (with me having the 13th ) it is obvious that opp did not lead 4th best.  At which point I state:  if you lead 3/5th you  should state your leads as such.  The opp not offering the explanation immediately calls the TD.  The TD comes to the table and asks what is the problem.  The opp calling the TD states that apparently declarer has a problem with the explanation of leads.   At that point I state: I have no problem with the lead, I have a problem with opponents stating standard leads and leading 3/5th.  After much discussion, the TD states "standard leads" is not descriptive....opps must state 4th best, 3/5 or otherwise.

Much to my chagrin, I say thank you, opp is being an asshole.  Opp immediately takes exception and I am told to apologize.  I say:  I am sorry you are an asshole.  Apparently that is not an acceptable apology and I am not allowed to continue to play.  After being expelled from many on-line tourneys for not learning what is acceptable (years ago..which might explain my lack of F2F play)....and after many therapy sessions (also which had ended years ago)...I thought I had learned to communicate with assholes (ummm...those with whom I had differences).  Apparently I had not.  

In any event, the point of this post is to say there is no "standard lead."  say what you mean...or what your partnership agreement is...and there will be no misunderstanding.

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