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Things that made me burst out laughing during Bridge

As a Director I over hear the nice old lady near my table call her partner an onion.

I just collapsed. 

Her partner is looking perplexed, I cant stop laughing.Opponents think its some type of zero tolerance violation and are trying to call me.

Everyone is now wandering what is going on.

I try to get myself under control.

I haven't heard this expression since my grandmother passed away.

You are  an onion, with your head in the ground and your feet in the air.

or in grandmas original Yiddish

Du bist a  tsibele, mit deyn kop in der erd aun deyn fis in di luft.

Any one else got anything that just made them lose it in uncontrollable hilarity at the club.

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