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Conventional Lightheartedness :)

 

It's the Memorial Holiday Weekend; there have been some fairly intense threads recently, and a bit of relaxation seems in order.

 

So, I'd be delighted if you would care to share you best humorous stories on the unusual use (or misuse or misunderstanding) of Conventions, and the jocular results.  (Please avoid naming names if an Opponent's miscue plays any part).

 

My pleasure to kick it off with a couple of vignettes, hope you enjoy:

 

1)  Two matronly ladies once reached a 5 contract against us without opposition bidding.  Dummy tabled 3 small 's and Declarer had the AQJ10xx.  I was lovingly caressing my singleton King offside, when Declarer immediately called for a from dummy and rose with her Ace, summarily felling my trump King :(

 

After she scored exactly +600, I gently asked "Could you tell me how you decided to drop my King".   She looked at me with a certain air of sagacity, and said "Young man, it's always 8 ever and 9 never"!  To this, I had no reply :)

 

2)  A long time friend and top expert from the Midwest, Bert Newman, and I picked up a pair at game time for the 1986 80-Team Canadian "Nationals" KO.  After an early close call or two, we kept scoring larger margins as we progressed through the field to the Final.  We then had a few friends kibitzing and managed +55 IMPS at the Half.

 

In the Second Half, no bidding from us, my LHO opened 3 and my RHO responded 4NT.  Alert, said LHO.  We didn't ask; LHO responded 5 (0 or 3 Key Cards) and RHO concluded with 6NT.  Dummy tabled the KJ109xxxx and 13 tricks were quickly claimed when Declarer had all the Aces, most of the Kings, a few other winners, and the AQ doubleton.

 

Out of curiosity, we politely inquired about the alert of 4NT, and were told that it was "Attitude RKC Blackwood".  The Opponents graciously explained that the Responder could downgrade by 1 Key Card if they didn't like their hand.  We secretly wondered why one would do so when down 55 IMPS, and have enjoyed telling the story of "Attitude Blackwood" over the ensuing decades.  (BTW, the unknown pair we picked up and won with was Doug Heron and Marty Caley, and they did indeed bid the cold grand slam!).

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