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Am I Old Fashioned?

My partner started to play bridge some 40 years after I did.  We play Acol with a weak No Trump and 4-card majors. We've had a few disagreements and misunderstandings along the way, but nothing too serious, and then we had this auction at the club weekly duplicate: 1 – 1; 2NT – 3

I bid 3 on the basis that that my partner had limited her hand, I was captain of the auction and placing the final contract. To my surprise, she continued the auction and we ended in 3NT, which failed by two tricks. As it happens, both 2NT and 3 are both destined to fail by one trick. Subsequently she emailed me this from a teaching website:

“OPENER REBIDS 2NT AFTER A RESPONSE AT THE 1 LEVEL If opener jumps to 2NT, this is showing 17-18 points. Opener is denying 4 card support for responder’s major suit. An example sequence is 1D - 1S – 2NT. The principles relating to responder’s second bid are quite simple: he may pass opener’s rebid, but if responder makes any second bid below game level, then the auction becomes forcing to game. In practice responder will only pass if he has a minimum (or sub-minimum) hand.”

I disagreed and cited my 1976 “All About Acol” book by Ben Cohen and Rhoda Lederer:

“THE LIMIT BIDS, a cornerstone of the Acol System, are bids which announce immediately the full values held. They are once-and-for-all bids - 'this much I've got and no more'. They may be made as direct suit raises or No Trump responses, as opener's or responder's rebids, or as opening No Trump bids. In whatever situation they are used they carry the same clear message which is that this is the only bid the hand is worth, and a player who has once made a limit bid should never bid again except in response to a forcing bid from his partner, to 'correct' to what he considers the best final denomination or occasionally, on a maximum for his bid, to accept a strong invitation to go on to game.”

“A limit bid is never forcing and, just as the limit-bidder will not bid again unless his partner in turn forces, or to 'correct' if necessary, so the responder to a limit bid is under no obligation to rebid if he thinks that the best final contract has been reached. He is, however, expected, if he does not think it best to pass, to make one final bid naming what he considers the best contract. For example 1D 1H; 1NT - ?, opener's rebid of 1 N.T. is a limit bid. Responder may pass this, make a forcing bid or, failing either of the alternatives, himself decide the final contract. It is no use his bidding 2D and hoping his partner will go on to 3 N.T. or 5D - he won't. If responder thinks either should bid, he must bid it himself.”

We are both adamant that we are right, so we need your help to resolve our disagreement, please:

The 3D bid is non-forcing and places the final contract.
The 3D bid is 100% game forcing.
It depends on... (please explain).
Is there an "Other"?

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